004 - Time, Priorities, and Discipline: Spending Your 112 Hours a Week on Purpose

[0:00] All right, Kate, welcome to the party. Welcome. Do you want, this time, to push the button? I don't know which button it is. It's this button. Ready? You want it? Hold on. Three, two, one.

[0:51] picking the life that you want to leave and how to make it happen. That's right. We remembered the intro this week. High five. So. Before we get into a couple things, a couple housekeeping notes, I think by the time this comes out, we will be close to or at 1,000 subscribers, which has been a bit of a goal so that we can do the live streaming thing. So, like the little bell said, click subscribe, the bell, the little animation with a bell, click subscribe, and see if we can't get the live version of this recording up onto the YouTubes. All right. So, I had a question about some stuff from our travels recently, but you had another Yeah, I was just going to say it's really exciting. We're only 10 minutes late for this podcast episode. We've been traveling on the weekends a little bit. I guess not so much traveling. This weekend, it was traveling, but last weekend, it was running and trying to make sure we weren't going to completely die on the hunt. It was the hottest day of the week. But it's a little risky because I can hear kids again. And if you listen really closely, you can

[2:08] hear our kids and dogs running around upstairs while we were recording. Yeah. Well, and I had to like cut a part of the episode last week because I was standing up and talking when I was moving all the hats and you couldn't hear anything. So, I don't know how it doesn't get my voice like this far away, but you can still hear. But you can hear the dogs and the kids. But anyways, I'm just really proud of us that we are only 10 minutes late starting this on recording Monday morning before we start our day jobs. Are you, have you put together with all the travel stuff? Because I was thinking about this this morning. So, we have Sydney Marathon coming up and we're going to be gone yet again traveling, which makes like long runs on travel is effectively impossible. I mean, you technically could, but especially doing some of the long runs in the heat that we're doing. We're talking about like we would be pretty zapped all day. So, well, and we bring our kids and usually if we're going to be gone, right, can't just like ditch the kids in the hotel for three hours. And then you're just completely dead from running for three hours. So, you don't even want to go do anything. So, yeah, it's just, it's a hard thing to do, especially if you're only there for a couple of days, you have to figure out how to manage your long run fatigue.

[3:24] My, my, my point to that story though was I don't know. We're not going to get a lot of long runs in before Sydney. No, it's going to be rough. I think Sydney Marathon is going to be. It's going to be, we're going to enjoy the experience and have a little bit of suffering in that experience. And we're just going to have to accept that reality. Yeah. That's okay. It'll be a nice training run for Sydney while we're at Sydney. Yeah, that's going to, it's going to be brutal. Okay. So, I have a question, Katy. We were doing our. Travels and we were coming home and you got a question about the, uh, the Bravely merch that you were wearing. And I would like you to tell that story just a little bit. Well, apparently we're not the only Bravely's out in the world. Yeah. No, I, so the, the shirt I was wearing was my build Bravely. Um, it's just in a little logo. It's actually really small, so I can't. Oh, you're wearing it. I'm wearing it right now. Yeah. It was not even that big. Very tiny. Yeah. And a gentleman in Oklahoma. Cause we were in Sydney. We were traveling home from Texas said, are you part of the build Bravely cattle company? I, and it kind of took me off guard a little bit. Cause I was shuffling our kids out the

[4:41] door of the gas station. Um, which for the record, we are not a part of the build. Bravely cattle company. It really, it really. And I was like, wait, what? Um, but he, uh, he said, yeah, I, I buy my cattle gear from build Bravely. And are you part of the build Bravely cattle company? And I'm like, no, we're, uh, app development company. And he's like, well, who, who do you work for? And he was asking a lot of questions and it was, it just threw me so off guard and Jeff was walking out the door. So I couldn't just pull him in. Yeah. I didn't even tell you this at the time, but like, I, I was like already on the way out and it's just like, she's on her own. Oh my gosh. I thought you maybe heard him trying to get our attention. I wasn't sure. And then I'm, I, you know, like when in doubt, like I'm not, I'm not sure. I'm not, I'm not typically one to just strike up random conversations. No, you're not. Um, and so like my default is like, oh, well, he probably wasn't talking to me. Uh, but then I realized that you and Alice were stuck behind talking to this guy. You know, he was so nice. Um, but no, I had to tell him we are not the build Bravely cattle company. We are the build Bravely app development company out of Kansas. And then I said, yep. All right. Have a good day. Good luck with the cows.

[5:59] Anyways. No, he was really nice. It was just so funny. We had no idea that we came home and looked it up and by golly. Yeah, that's a thing they do exist. So, uh, if, if you're watching build Bravely people and you're looking for some kind of collab, you just let us know, we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Yeah. I'm not sure what, where our overlap is, but we'll find one. Yeah. Just gotta be creative. All right, Katy. So you had our first question today, I believe my. My memory is correct. You want to kick us off this morning? Yeah. So one question that I had is how do you prioritize what to work on? If you feel like you have a lot of things you want to change. Okay. Yeah. That, that definitely a good question. I, before I give you my answer, I'm curious, like, do you feel often that you have a lot of, like, do you ever get that feeling or is that not really how Katy brain works? Because I, I feel this quite a, I've, especially at certain points in my life, I, I want you to go first and then I can pull off of what you said, and then I'll be able to figure out how it applies to Katy brain. Okay.

[7:14] So I, I am a person who it's like, if I get a, if I get on a kick, I have a bunch of different things that I am wanting to achieve. And, uh, I've definitely learned over the years through experience that there's no more sure way to ensure. That you achieve nothing by trying to attack, you know, five different big life changes all at once. Yeah. That, that just doesn't work. That's not how, that's not how the world works. And then if you are a person who, uh, is able to like say, Hey, here's these five big things that I want to change in my life. And then you go and do it. Um, you should probably stop watching this podcast or start your own and teach us how to do that. Cause that is not, not my lived experience for sure. Uh, and so for me, uh, if I need to prioritize. You know what, what it is that I, well, first off, I need to understand that that is something that I need to do just because I may be enthusiastic in the moment. That does not mean that that enthusiasm is even remote. It's probably not even enough to carry me through a day of change on one of those topics, let alone on a, you know, an extended amount of time for all of those. And so first off is identifying like, Hey, this is something that's happening. I'm, I'm trying to boil the ocean here in

[8:31] reality. I just need to focus on one thing. Uh, but for me, it's also realizing that that one thing may not even be one of those things on that list. What I mean by that is if let's say I want to, I want to write out and then, you know, one of the things, maybe I want to write a book or I want to be more, I want to build a writing habit. One of the things that I need to do is I want to write a book. One of the things that I need to work on in order to make that happen very well may be something more akin to, I need to spend less time on my phone so that I can have that time to write, or I need to adjust my morning routine. And so that means I need to get up earlier, which means I need to go to bed earlier. Yeah. So the real thing that I would then need to focus on is say, Hey, okay, I want to capture this. I need to write this down. Uh, I'm going to put it in something like a to-do app to look at later or some, something that I want to do. Or just write it on a sticky note and stick it on the nightstand, get that off of your brain. So you don't forget about it, but then spend the time to focus in on like, what do I need to do about my life in order to set up a system to make this actual change? Um, and that is what actually results in

[9:49] that first little bit of a snowball starting to roll downhill because you can't, if you don't take, if you don't change anything and you just try to do it, you're not going to be able to do it. Try to add, like, I want to start a writing, you know, habit every day. You know, I want to spend 15 minutes a day, 15 minutes a day. It's not hard to fit in, but you already were filling up your day with stuff. Right. And so if you don't make an adjustment, there is a trade-off that has to happen. If you aren't intentional about figuring out where you're going to make that trade-off, you simply will not over time. Like I, and again, you know, maybe, maybe that's not everybody's lived experiences. Maybe some people can handle that. But I will say from my experience there, you know, there's no more sure way to ensure that you don't make it happen than to not intentionally figure out what those trade-offs need to be and, and attack, attack it from that angle prior to, uh, to doing that. I have some more thoughts on that, but I am curious, like what? Yeah. So for me, um, I can actually think of a couple of real life examples. Um, I know when. When we were, I don't know, I feel like this is still something we're working on,

[11:04] but we're also trying to come up with a system is like managing our calendars and how do we do that without it feeling like this massive chaotic list of events and list of things we want to do. And I think when we took the time to, um, prioritize a system, figure something out that that's been really helpful, that's just a real life example. Um, but I think like what you said is one, you have to make it a priority. Um, and you have to buy into like, that's the thing that you want to do. Um, and you have to put systems in place to make that happen. So I know I'm kind of just repeating basically what you said, but for me, if I was wanting to. Um, journal in the mornings more often than I've been doing, um, I would need to set my alarm 15 minutes earlier. And I think you have to, and you have to be committed to it. You can't just not be committed to the change. Um, well, and, and I would even say, uh, I don't think it's just a matter of

[12:19] setting your alarm 15 minutes earlier. I think you have to say that, like, I need to go to bed 15 minutes earlier or 20 minutes earlier. It's not a, you know, it, it is in that instance, it is a zero sum game. So, you know, if you keep subtracting off 15 minutes of sleep, you're just going to slowly and slowly get more and more chronically sleep deprived. Uh, I mean, unless you were sleeping nine and a half hours a night, but that's, uh, I, I don't typically run across people who are like, man, I just get so much sleep and I need to fix that. So it almost certainly is some sort of deprivation scenario. Most people don't get enough sleep. And so, yeah, I, if you want to add a thing and it's a morning, uh, you need to figure out the, uh, the time that you actually need to go to bed to make that happen and, and do that. And I, and I would also, so you mentioned calendars and figuring out, you know, how you're going to spend your day. If you are looking for like a place to start, almost anything that you want to do is probably going to take time, uh, whether that is directly the thing. So like if you want to start running, that's going to take time. But even if you want to stop doing something, you're going to probably have

[13:35] to set aside some time to figure out how you're going to make that happen and figure out the systems in place in order to make that happen. So even, even, even removing something from your life is going to probably take an investment of time up front. And so starting on the calendar to me is like probably a good first principles type place to start for almost any change. And it, it does take, you know, sitting down and realizing like, okay, if I sleep eight hours a night, uh, I have 112 hours a week that I can spend on stuff. Uh, and this is actually funny. So like I'm, I may make a video about this exact topic. So you have 112 hours and you can allocate that, uh, with intentionality or you can allocate that just as, as life takes it and how it's been allocated for. Uh, you know, all, all the past leading up to now, and that's resulting in the situation that you're in more than likely, if you're thinking about these things and talking about this sort of stuff, there's stuff that you want to change. And the place to change that is how you spend your time. Uh, and I don't know, there's some, some good quote about, I can't remember who it was, but you know, how you, uh, how you spend

[14:50] every day is inevitably how you spend your life. And you, if you want to make that shift, you have to make it in your day to day calendar. Um, so anyways, yeah, you have 112 hours on a given week, uh, for a lot of us, you know, that's going to be, and that's the waking hours. If you sleep eight hours a night, a lot of us are going to spend, you know, you know, let's say 40 of those, um, on the, the, whatever your vocation is, um, you know, maybe a little more, a little less for some folks, uh, but that, that's going to leave you with, let's say 70 hours, uh, remaining. And, uh, you know, there's, there's some stuff that you just have to do and, you know, there's like kid obligations. I want to spend some time with my kids. I want to spend some time with my family. We have to eat food occasionally, um, you know, stuff like that. But what you're, what you're left with is actually a pretty big chunk of time, uh, that you can, that you can allocate to things. Um, and, and you can figure out when those, when you want to do certain activities are, uh, and then it becomes an exercise and I'm like, I'm just going to follow through on what I commit to that. Like, I'm going to follow through what I commit to that habit is like. Uh, honestly, like if I reflect on, you know, one of the things that I, you know, if I could turn the dial up, I feel like it has an

[16:08] enormous, enormous impact is that follow through on what I commit to it. You know, I, and, and that's a practice on two sides. There's practice on setting yourself up for success by not trying to boil the ocean, you know, making, making small commitments at first, making achievable commitments at first. Uh, but then, you know, you. Also on the back end. So once you've made that commitment and you're being intentional about setting things that are achievable on the back end, you then have to get in the habit of like, okay, I, I set this as a thing that I'm going to do. I know that it's achievable. My alarm is going off right now and I get up when my alarm goes off or, you know, the, the first thing that I'm going to do is check my to-do list, not my computer or not my phone. Uh, the you just like you make these commitments and then you have to just get in the habit of, of like, I'm one who follows up or follows through on, on my commitment. Yeah. It's a discipline for sure. Um, and I think maybe one reason why I wasn't, I don't have the best of advice for this is, and I'm sure if there's other moms watching, I feel like I have just so many things on

[17:24] my own plate right now. So to reflect on myself on things that I want to do. To change is a really hard thing, but all that to say, don't not prioritize yourself. If there are things you want to change, take the steps to do those things, take the steps to figure out what that would look like. Even in the midst of the crazy chaotic, taking care of your kids, getting them to sports, getting them food, making sure everything's done, because I think it's so easy. And especially for parents and honestly, even caretakers, there's just a whole slew of people that anyone, and I think honestly, this could probably relate to anybody in whatever season you're in. You always feel so busy. You feel so like you just have no time left in the day to even consider fitting something else in or, or changing something about already what you're working on. And like, again, this is why I'm, I don't have the best of advice because this is a this is actually really how I feel with my own life is I already have so many things on my plate right now. But when you take that time to figure out,

[18:40] okay, I really have this thing I want to change. I know I have an insane schedule right now, but figure out what that is. Figure out the bite size. How do I make that change doable? And then make. It possible with, you know, making sure you do go to bed a little bit earlier. Just there's a whole variety of ways, but, and then being disciplined and the disciplined is hard. That's not something it's easy to say, oh, go be disciplined and wake up 15 minutes earlier on your alarm clock. But once that alarm clock's actually going off, it is so hard. And, or even if it's not something in the morning, but it's something you want to do during the day. Or in the evening hours. And if you set an alarm and when that alarm goes off, like, you know, that's when you're supposed to try to make time to do that, but then you're in the middle of something else. And then, so you just kind of push it to the side. Can you talk about that a little bit more? Cause I think that's how I feel as a person and a mom and a wife is I just have so much going on in my day that sometimes trying to change that or to shake that up a

[19:56] little bit is really hard. Really hard to think about and a little overwhelming. Yeah. So I do want to use starting this show as maybe a point of conversation around that because that, that is something that we've made a shift on and is a part of our schedule. But I do want to hit on discipline just a little bit real quick. So I think when people think of discipline that he, like, I don't know, for me as a person born when I was and had the childbirth, I was like, I don't know, I don't know. I think of like Rocky Balboa and, you know, the training montage and like, you know, you're going to wake up and go run the Philadelphia steps and we're going to get copyright stricken. Thanks, Katy. You're just saying so good that it's going to have the auto detection for sure. But, you know, you, you think of these grandiose examples of what discipline is, I think in, in, in mortal people, uh, world. That is much more, uh, tied to very, very small acts. Um, like for example, I think one of the more effective discipline things, like if

[21:11] you want to start a running habit, uh, you know, you think of running habit as like, okay, well, the thing that I need to be disciplined about is, uh, I need to get out in the morning and I need to go run three miles, uh, like, or however, however far you want to go. That seems like the thing that. It is that's the discipline, but I think that there's an easier way forward because, uh, you know, if it was as easy as that, then there'd be a lot more people running every morning. Uh, the, the thing that I think you can do that's achievable though, is, is the night before lay out your running clothes, like figure it out. If, if you're not a person who's in the habit of doing it and you want to start that habit, you make the choice and the decision and the action as small and tiny as possible. And if you can break that up so that you're. Like I tell you, it's a lot easier to make a commitment to run at night than it is when your alarm goes off in the morning. So if you have already started down that commitment that night before, when it's easier and you take some of the lift off of you in the morning, then by the time the morning rolls around, it's, it, it just is a continuation of a decision or an action that you've already started. That's a really good point. And I honestly kind of forgot about when we were starting to run together in the mornings of

[22:27] setting our clothes out. And making sure we were intentional about that. And, and I think it all wraps up to coming up with those small things, those small action steps that can make doing that change easier and more attainable. Yeah. So, uh, like with this show, this show is a big chunk of time because it's not just sitting down and record. And as much as like efficiency that I've tried to have, I've tried to have it. And the post-production side of it, you know, that, that still is something that we both contribute to. Uh, and, and it takes, it takes a chunk of time. How, how have you found fitting this in and what sort of things, and it doesn't have to be like specific necessarily to this, but maybe the lessons that you've learned from this of like, what considerations will we have to continue to make as, you know, time goes on and we still want to make sure that we're spending the time that the show deserves and that we want to do it. It's really funny that you say that because I always get my screen time notification on, I think it's like, it comes on Sundays of how much time I've spent on which apps and

[23:42] how many hours I was on my screen. And let me tell you, Jeff, it's a lot less than it used to be because I'm spending so much more time watching shorts, making sure they're good and doing, you know, doing stuff for the company on my actual computer or my laptop. I am on my phone, scrolling Instagram and Facebook so much less, and I didn't even really intentionally make that change. So please don't think that I'm saying, oh yeah, I'm such a good girl and I'm scrolling less. It's just that that is where my time is being spent right now is scrolling less and working more on podcast things. Company things, bravely things. So I don't know. Did I know? That's interesting. So you have taken, taken some of that idle time, not necessarily through intention, just through, uh, you know, the necessity of the commitment. Um, and that's resulted in less time on your phone. So much less time. I mean, dramatically less time. How do you, how do you feel about that? Like, do you, do you feel like, I mean, that's a trade.

[24:58] Um, I mean, certainly more mindless to scroll, but it also, you know, feels good dopamine, et cetera. Like, do you feel like that's sustainable? Do you feel good about it? I feel like it's sustainable. I do feel good about it too. Um, cause there would be sometimes I would get my daily on Sundays. It would tell you how much daily screen time you were on. And I was like, how did I be on my, how was I on my phone that many hours? Um, so that part definitely makes me feel better. Um, and I don't know, I feel like I'm contributing more to the company. Cause that's something I've kind of struggled with too, is how am I, how am I going to contribute to this thing? That was Jeff's big dream. And I don't have the development side of things. I know I'm not an it person, not a developer, but no, not at all. Um, but it's been really encouraging because. Not having that. As I mean, not having as much time to spend on my phone, just kind of revalidates the fact that I am doing things. I am helping the company. I am being productive with my time. Um, so I don't know. I think, I don't, I honestly don't remember what question you asked.

[26:13] This is why, um, Monday morning podcast recordings can be a little rough. Hey, but it's the time that we have with the time we have. And, and so, you know, this is what you get. This is episode four. This is, yeah, this is not going to be some professional sleep deprived. I am. I'm actually, my, my watch is not happy with me right now has been very disappointed in you and goodness. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, yeah, if you're a garment person out in the world, you know, this all too well, if you're not, I'll, I'll just let you know that, uh, Garmin is like the worst friend possible. It's not kind. And my watch has not been kind. I think my HR. V is insanely low. My stress level is high, which I think that's just, uh, you know, that's not anything related to actual stress. I think that's just been travel and not sleeping in my bed. And, um, and I got that big, oh, orange rack that says unproductive on my training status. Well, not kind, not kind. Um, one, one last thing before we, uh, move on to the next topic this morning, uh, I, I, I. I did want to mention, like, sometimes

[27:30] those trade-offs do come with things like giving up things that you like. Uh, and I think those are a little more, I don't know, interesting, a little harder and, you know, for, for me, like I'm a, I am a person. I, I do really, I, I love a good video game. I historically I've spent a lot of time, you know, enjoying that as a hobby and since starting the business, I effectively don't do anything anymore. Video game related. Yeah. And there's definitely like that a little bit of melancholy about that, but, uh, you know, you only do get one life and you have to make a decision on how you spend that life. And, you know, going back to that, uh, quote, which I need to definitely look up now, uh, and, and give attribution to someone, but the, yeah, how, how you spend your day is inevitably how you spend your life. And if I look back, I'm, I'm okay with some amount of video game playing for sure. Uh, but I, I think for me, the thing that I want to achieve most does come with a lot of time investment and, uh, you know, in building this business and, and stuff like the show, those are the things that I want to be able to spend the vast, vast majority of my, um, discretionary time on.

[28:46] And so that does come at giving up something that, you know, it wasn't harmful. Like, I don't, I don't feel, um, like that time was wasted per se. That's just not in alignment with my, my goals for myself and the aspirations that I have. And I think too, I don't want people to get on and listen and think that they have to just work constantly in, if, if there's a, a part of you though, that wants to play a video game, you're feeling sad about not having played a video game, but you have all these other things that you're trying to do. I think it's important to. Schedule that in, have a video game Saturday where that is literally all you do is play video games. Don't deprive yourself. I mean, and right now I don't really feel like I'm, we're depriving ourselves of that. It's been fun to do the company stuff, but I don't want people to feel like they can't do those things that are fun for them. Well, and, and to, to me, it's not about just trying to optimize everything for. Um, uh, you know, let's say a, a financial gain or something like that.

[30:02] Like certainly, you know, if, if you took that to the extreme, then yeah, like every waking second would be like, how can I make as much money as possible? And that's not the most fulfilling path forward. Yeah. Um, which I think people that have, I mean, not saying that this is the case for everybody, but there's probably people that that is their story and it is kind of sad and you don't want to miss out on time with family or the things that you do. You enjoy and there is a balance. I guess what I would get to is, you know, inevitably, um, make sure that the thing that is what you spend your time on throughout the week is going to result in what you want out of your life. And, you know, if, if you are the person, um, that's like, yep, the only thing that I find fulfillment in is work, then, you know, I guess, you know, more power to you, but more than likely is going to be a balance. A balance of things. And you just, to me, it's just figuring out, you know, which, which stuff do you put on which side of the scale so that it's, it's balanced in the way that you want to live your life. Yeah. And then like, like we said before, like just build the discipline of actually follow through on, on what you are committing to yourself, that this is how

[31:18] I'm going to spend my time. And, and just being honest with what those trade-offs are for me. Um, you know why I do say that it's like a little melancholy about, you know, not spending time. I'm on a particular hobby that I used to, uh, spend time on it. I still wouldn't change it. Right. Um, like to me, I want to make that trade-off. I don't, I don't regret making that trade-off. Now, if I, uh, if I said, you know, I wanted to commit to an hour a day spending time with the kids and then I didn't follow through on that, then I would, I would feel regret that I, you know, I'm not doing this thing that I said that I wanted to do that. It matters a little bit more to me than like what a video game is. So those would be the sort of things that I, I, you know, I would intentionally make, you know, a part of, you know, if I'm going to split out my 112 hours that I spend awake every week, um, I would, I would intentionally set those things aside because, you know, if I look back at this time and it's just work, then that I will have regrets about. Right. And so I still need to make sure that I am being. And, you know, it's a little easier right now because we were doing a lot of travel and the kids are with us, um, and stuff like that.

[32:33] But, you know, as we get back into the school year in the middle of all this company stuff that we're doing, uh, it'll definitely take a discipline to set aside like, okay, uh, here's where our schedules are going to overlap. And so I need to make sure that, you know, this hour is something that is intentionally spent with them or, or, you know, however the, the time and the schedules and stuff align, because if I don't. And I, I'm just like, well, I'll just, I'll hang out with the kids. I'll squeeze it in when I can, when I can, then I just inevitably won't not to the extent or quality that I would want to. That's really good. Yep. So the, the next thing I wanted to talk about, and it really is a little bit of just a continuation of other conversations that we've had this morning and prior episodes, but, uh, I, I really think that if you, and honestly, it's just a little bit of a continuation of other conversations that we've had this morning and prior episodes. It does. This really follows nicely with what we were just talking about. If you, if you do spend the time to figure out the systems, uh, part of your life and, and, and figure out how you spend that time, you are capable of so much more than what you realize. And it doesn't necessarily need to apply to, you know, the, the exponential

[33:49] snowball effect of spending time on something that builds over time. Uh, I think just in general, people are a lot more capable. Of bigger things than they think they are. Uh, you know, I, I would use you as an example of that as the, um, you know, the poster child for not realizing like, oh yeah, I actually do have a background in all of these things. And, um, and I, I have a lot of experience in, in a particular area. I have something that I can bring to the table. There are ways that I can contribute. Like you really do struggle with that. I would say. Yeah. And I think it's a, it's a self-confidence thing too. When, um, we decided we were going to start our family and we're finally able to, I definitely thought I was going to be a stay at home mom, a homemaker for eternity. And I realized, and I did, I did for a few years, which I'm so grateful. I did. I had those early years with the kids and, um, but then I did want to, you know, to start doing something for myself, um, and got a job working on a remote during

[35:06] COVID of course, um, when everybody was remote and really loved it, started learning new skills. I'd never learned before, nor thought I was capable of. And I think what's really interesting too, just from reflecting. On where I started to where I am today is I do forget how much in these several years I've been working, um, which now it's what, six years, six and a half years, um, how much I've learned. And it's been little baby steps. It's been these little tiny things I've said, yeah, I'll try that. I'll give that a try. Um, and how much from just saying yes to some things, not saying yes to some things, but just saying yes to some things. Not saying that you need to say yes to everything, but things that I have, I had found interest in and truly never thought I would be able to do. Um, and how now I've been able to take all those little things that I've done for career growth and what I'm able to do now. And, and truly, again, I, I don't even sometimes realize what that all is until

[36:23] I'm in something and doing it and realize. Um, and how now I've been able to take all those little things that I've done for career growth and what I'm able to do now. And, and truly, again, I, I don't even sometimes realize what that all is until I'm in something and doing it and realizing. Oh, wow. I kind of do know how to do this thing. So I have a question for you. Yeah. Um, and cause I, I've seen this a lot and I've had the, the fortune to, uh, be able to mentor folks and help them realize what they're capable of. And then you just see that over time and it's like their, their eyes light up of, you know, oh, I, I realized that I, I am good at this thing. Um, but how do you, how does that, how does that experience of like saying yes to some things that you didn't know? How it worked and then learning how it worked and then realizing, okay, cool. I can, I can do this deal. I didn't think I could, but I was able to, how does that, does that help? And the next time that you come across these things, you still feel like it's hard or are you able to lean on some of that experience to realize like, oh, okay. I, I'm having this feeling, uh, but I, I, I, I know based on prior evidence, like I can figure this sort of stuff out. Like where, where do you feel like on that spectrum you land? I think it definitely does. Help in it when you've done it once, you feel like you can do it again, depending on what it is, though, uh, you know, depending on what I, to be honest, like, I don't know if I'll ever be able to code. I mean, I probably could, I don't know.

[37:40] We're kind of talking about people and then what they're capable of. So who knows? Maybe I could be somebody who could code, but I have a job for you if you do. Um, but yeah, I think that once you have done it once. And, and I, and let me be clear, it was not successful the whole time. And I know we've talked about that on the, on other episodes, I messed up and didn't do the thing. Right. Had to go back, spent multiple hours trying to fix the thing, figured it out. Um, so it was not like, yay, good job. First time on it that I tried something. Sure. But once you have done it, like, for example, I remember I was doing some editing. Editing in Photoshop for a company I was working for, for Instagram posts. So I would get a picture, I would edit it, make it brighter. And I had never even opened Photoshop before. Still would not say I'm a pro, but I figured out how to edit those pictures. But it took hours upon hours upon hours of trying stuff and doing things.

[38:56] Before I finally figured out how to do it. Um, and then I kept, I then my, the, my boss gave me more and more and more things to edit and I got comfortable with that. Um, but yeah, so I don't know, that's a real life example I can think of, but now I'm, I do quite a, I know I want to say quite a bit, but I dabble in doing some graphic designing. I mean, I would say in the past. I would say in the last 24 hours, about half of them were spent doing graphic design. So I'd say you do at least a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know. It's, I think definitely, and it's a confidence thing and I think it depends on the person. And I will definitely say even this whole podcast experience, I am not, that is something I struggle with a little bit is having that confidence in myself. But I think when you do the thing more and more and more and more, you do get comfortable with it. And then that. Being comfortable in it can open doors to more opportunity. So if you could go back in time and tell younger Katy, like, Hey, I, I, you got this thing handed to you, um, here's some advice, uh, on how to approach this or how to think about it or, uh, just like,

[40:13] what, what would you tell you from the past on if you were handed this opportunity to go talk to yourself? Oh man, I don't, I would just say you're not going to get it right. The first time, but that's okay. You get better. The more times you try it and just keep at it. Don't stop. Don't stop learning. Don't stop trying. Even when it feels like there's no way that you're going to figure out how to do this thing. You can. So it's funny. I think I'm more kind to my younger thinking of. It's so funny. I think I. Thinking of the idea of talking to my younger self. To where I am now, I almost feel this question more than what I feel right now. Does that make sense? Well, I, I think we are always more kind and empathetic to others and others as defined also to include our past selves that, you know, the we're, we're way kinder to them than we are to ourselves. And that in a lot of times. So, uh, you know, I, I, I would look back and, uh, honestly, like if I were to talk

[41:30] to myself, uh, and give myself some advice, um, it really would be a bunch of stuff that would be like, Hey, it's going like all of this stuff is going to work out and it's all going to be fine. It's actually going to be way better than you think. Um, and it's just like, how can I apply that same, like, Hey, yes, there's stuff that doesn't go good, but on the, on balance, like it's, it's. Just a graph that goes to the top and to the right. And that is a perspective that you can have if you have that lived experience, but that doesn't like become untrue to you in the moment, but boy, is it hard when you're in the middle of some of those things that are like, I don't know that any of this is going to necessarily work or it's going to be the way that I expect with all of this experience though, of like, I like always, if you're, if you're willing to stay. In the game and keep playing, like you're likely not going to lose. Like the, the thing that you can control is do you give up or not beyond that though? If you keep at it, like you're gonna figure it out. Yeah. You know, even like if you're running a marathon, if you just keep going forward, eventually you'll finish it. Like eventually you'll be able to stop

[42:46] and have the free banana that you died for or whatever. Um, and, and get the metal placed over your head by a very, very, very, very, very, very exhausted metal holder person. Yeah. Yeah. He's done that 10,000 times before you, or if it's at a major, like 40,000 times before you, if you're slow enough, it's true. It's probably what we're going to be in Sydney. Yeah. That's a finisher's number 40,000 out of 56 or whatever. Yeah. It's really, it's a really interesting perspective of how I view my younger self to where I feel today and kind of want to tell myself today, get it together, Katy, you're fine. Like you're going to figure this thing out. Cause like, even right now, there's just a lot of unknowns and question marks. And I wish that my two year ahead, older self could come to me right now and give me some advice. What, what would you want to your, what, what would be the best news that you could hear from two years in the future version of yourself? I think it's what you said. It's all going to work out. There's going to be some bumps in the road, but you're going to be good. Does that help like frame stuff that, cause you know, I, we don't have to get into it on the podcast, but the, you know, there's

[44:04] like paths forward and it's like they, you kind of like look at, okay, well, if I go down this road, this could have, you know, these different branches of, you know, outcomes. And some of those are significantly different than the world that I'm living in now. And then there's like other paths that are like, okay, well that's just like what I'm going down now. But like with a little detour. And stuff like that. And, um, but those decisions and like, how much time do I put into this thing or how do I approach this situation? You know, those sort of things feel real, real big, uh, in the moment. And like, they just kind of like weigh on you. At least they do for me. Um, but I do think that it is helpful to realize like we don't need to, uh, uh, aggrandize these, uh, these. These decisions, like they, they're not, they're not life-changing and none of them are likely permanent. And even if they are like going down a road for a little while and then realizing like, oh, actually I want to go over this way. That's not a, it's not a big deal. It really isn't. But you, you feel like, ah, man, I need to like figure out my entire life direction boiled into this little decision. Uh, and, and you just, you make it a much

[45:21] bigger deal than what it is. So what would you tell? I think that that example can really be relatable to somebody who's going through college. I mean, honestly, anybody, but what would you tell somebody going through college that just has no idea what it is they want to do? And you actually kind of have a little bit of an example from that, that I don't even know if we talked about. So, uh, you know, I, at one point I did mention on the show that I have a psychology degree. Um, that basically was a result of, yeah, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I went to school for computer science. I, uh, didn't, uh, finish that. I wayward didn't really like going to school. You liked video games. I liked video games. Well, and I, I just wasn't passionate about the school stuff. Like I, I enjoyed the, I enjoyed parts of it, but I, I didn't know what I wanted to do. And so therefore it made it really hard to spend the effort and time to go learn stuff. And I'm like, I don't even know if this is what I want. And I, and honestly, college is such a weird time. I don't know if anybody ever like. It is really hard to know, okay, this is the direction I want to pick for my life like that. That is, um, a, a very intimidating thought. Yeah. Um, so anyways, yeah, I got a psychology degree mostly because I was like

[46:37] partially interested in psychology, partially just ready to be done with school. And it was a path that I could go down that was going to result in that quicker than pretty much any other choice. And then immediately, you know, fast forward a couple of years and I ended up landing back into, you know, a computer science related field. So, you know, in hindsight, if I could have spent the time to do that, probably would have been a good, but, um, you know, what, what I would say is for some jobs and some things that you want to do, like a degree matters, uh, but I, it's, it matters far less than people make it out to be like, I, you know, I don't want to discount, like, I think the time that you, uh, spend in college and the stuff that you learn is really important and you learn, like learning how to learn is almost worth the price of admission itself. But don't think of that as like, well, that's my destiny and now I have to figure out, like, I, I'm going to spend this four year time or however long you go to college or if you go to college and like, I'm going to take this time after high school and this is going to be now, you know, what I spend the next 50 years of my career on. It's just simply not the case. It doesn't, there's no part of that that is prescriptive of how you have to spend your time. I think that you, you maybe owe it to

[47:52] yourself. That you have to go down a path and you're like, okay, well, I don't know if this is what I want. I think you, it makes sense to give it a try. Um, but if you get into that and you learn like, oh, this is, this is miserable, um, then try something else. And like, I, there's so many things I would do different if I could go back in time, but you don't get that luxury. And so it just really is a matter of, well, what do I, what do I pivot to now at this point? Right. And, and just realizing like, cause you look back and you're like, man, I have 15 years in my career that I did this thing, um, for me personally. And so, you know, that, that has tremendous value, even if I'm spending time, you know, hanging out with you and talking on a podcast, like, um, the, that 15 years was not directly tied to this thing that I am very passionate about. Uh, but it still has tremendous amount of value. I think that that's important to mention too, is regardless of what path you go on, or you realize, oh, I'm going to do something different is the lessons you've learned from that path are still all really valid. Yeah. Like you wouldn't be who you were today without having that experience. And that's something really good to that way. You don't feel regret necessarily. I mean, there are situations where you've

[49:09] made choices where you might feel a little bit of that, but in general, if, if you've had a path similar to, oh, I'm doing this, these classes and I'm going to do something completely different, what you've, what you earned or what you learned. Yeah. From that is still so valuable. Yeah. And, and, you know, some people, I think luck plays a big role in this too. Some people get lucky and they start down a path and then realize they love it a lot more than they, uh, even expected. And I, I don't think that there's some magic amount of preparation. There's just, there's a lot of people in the world and if we all just pick our stuff and some people are going to find stuff that they loved, some people are going to find stuff that they don't love. We're both going to figure out, you know, what path makes sense is some people will just have a little bit of an easier time up front, but you know, in the end that those, those years that you spend going down, I mean, there's, like you said, those lessons still are valuable and you're going to come at whatever the next chapter is more equipped and you know, I, you know, we come to this podcast with all of our, you know, our life experience at this point and I wouldn't trade what I have. You know, there's certainly there's

[50:25] pieces of it that I'm like, man, that, that would have been real cool if I could have gone a different path, but I'm also content with the path that I've gone down and the experiences that I've gotten and the lessons that I've learned and I will be able to, you know, parlay that into whatever the next chapter of my life is. And I, I, I'm excited by that prospect. Um, but yeah, I, I wouldn't, I don't, I wouldn't. Like obsess over making sure that, you know, you have the, the, the perfect path laid out because you're going to change like your, what you value and what you find fun and engaging is going to shift over time. And so it's unlikely that even if you do love it in the moment and you pick the exact perfect thing, um, I'd be surprised if that ends up being like a lifelong perfect thing. And so just go into, go into, you know, the, the college direction or, or finding a career or, you know, starting a business as like, this is what makes sense for me right now. And I'm going to try it. And if I don't like it, I'm not going to be scared to make a shift and those, those shift. And I've seen it both of myself and others, you know, it, it often works out better than you expect. I feel like that's a nice little segue

[51:42] into one of the questions that we had is how did you like our first mean comment on the internet? Yeah. I honestly, I, it bothered me a lot less than I. Expected. Yeah. It's fine. Uh, so I don't know what, what was your, what were your feelings on it? I feel like that is so one of the reasons why I didn't want to start this podcast is because people are so mean online and I don't know, I think I'll deal with it. Okay. But you know, sometimes it affects you more than you realize, but I will say this one didn't really bother me. I yeah. Well, you did tell me to block it. I did. I'm like, take it off. That's funny. Nice thing. Yeah. Yeah. I moved on with my day. Um, yeah. I mean, I think, I think it is important and not necessarily, you know, just our, um, you know, the mean comments on the internet thing, but just in general, figuring out what you, what matters to you and going down a path and, and learning how to have validation be more internal. Then external. I, that's a thing that I've struggled with, uh, in my life is, uh, seeking

[52:58] external validation as the main source of like, am I going, am I living a life that is valuable and, and having to need the approval of others in order to have that be a checkbox? Yes. Um, and I have, I mean, really in the last few years, and I don't know if that's just my lived experiences and the things that I've gone through or just being older. Um, but I, I, I am a much more internally validated human now than I was five years ago and almost unrecognizably. So if you go farther back than that, that, and I think for me too, I definitely still struggle a little bit with that external validation, but as I've kind of understand who I am and who I am as a person, the things that I value and it's taken time to figure that out. And I do think just age and having kids and having to make those decisions and, um, icon parenting and being really solid in those helps. Um, but yeah, I think that that's something also too. I mean, there's the internal validation

[54:14] and there's external validation. And I think some of the external validation, for example, what you say about me. I definitely take that to be very serious if that makes sense. So I think it kind of depends, but yeah, I, in general, people that don't know me and don't. Yeah. They don't get a vote. Yeah. I think, I think that is a very excellent, excellent point is because we, we are social creatures. Yeah. Uh, but it, it very much should be intentional on who you let have a say in your life. Right. Yeah. Because if you are trying to live your life, just trying to please people, which is, uh, my default for maybe the lot, you know, the first 30 some odd years of my life, uh, that does have, yeah, you're just not going to end up where you want to go and you're not going to end up being the person that you want to be if you are so concerned about letting everybody have a, have an opinion and then trying to live up to those opinions. Uh, but. I think it's having those trusted one or two or three or four people that you're like, okay, I'm going to let this person

[55:29] actually have a vote. Like I'm going to have, let them have a seat at the table of my life and help me be, you know, I want them to be my sounding board to, to, you know, a particular decision or a thing that I want to try to do or, um, something about myself or, you know, if they, if they call me out and they say like, Hey, you should stop doing this, I'm going to let them have that, uh, have that power to have that. Yeah. And like, and treat it like I'm, I'm giving them that ability, uh, but don't let it be everybody. And it should be a very select few people. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I, I, that, that really does stick with me a lot is, um, is realizing that you really do need to make sure that you, if you, if you're. having a feeling of obligation to do a particular thing or something like that, that you're not letting others drive those perspectives or thoughts or opinions that don't deserve to have that. Um, and to, to really have that internal validation that this is a path that I want to go down. Cause like, honestly, if we went

[56:46] out and asked a hundred of the people, uh, in our lives, does it make sense to sit in your basement on a Monday morning while your kids are just like causing chaos on your entire house? Uh, does that, does that make sense? And, and the answer is no, almost assuredly, nobody else we know is doing such crazy things, but I think it makes sense. And I, we've talked about it. Obviously you think it makes sense cause we're here. Um, and it makes sense for us to do that. Right. And, and really beyond that, it doesn't need a whole lot more validation to that end. Um, and so, yeah, I, I would definitely, I would definitely, that that's a really introspective thing, uh, to think through, but I think there's more there too, to talk on. Yeah. But we're kind of wrapping up this while wrapping up on time. I do, I don't want to give my quote. So I did, I did do some quotes, um, which is kind of funny given all we've talked about. Uh, but it is by Chuck close. Uh, he is a, uh, American painter, uh, who, who was paralyzed, but then kept painting just by, or like, I don't remember the exact specifics, but, um, overcame disability to still be able to produce art. And his quote is, I

[58:02] always say that inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work. And I really love that because you know, we're, we're, we're talking a lot here. And if you've listened to this, I really appreciate it. I hope it is a little bit of inspiration. Um, but I, I cannot, I cannot express enough how true that is at the end of the day. At some point, the inspiration, the motivation, all that has to stop and you just need to get to work and just go overthink it and do the thing. And you know, we talked about, we could have talked about doing this podcast until cows come home. Uh, we've started with cows and now, um, but at the end of the day, we just had to get it started. Yeah. And it's not going to be perfect. And we're going to look back on these episodes and think of a hundred different things we could have said better, but here we are, we're doing it. Yep. And we're doing the work now. And so I would, uh, give that as maybe a closing thought. If there's a thing that you're thinking about doing, uh, I hope you're inspired, but more than anything, I hope you take a step down that path because there is no way to make it to that goal that you want that doesn't require work. So go and

[59:18] do the work. Um, all right now to the housekeeping end of the show. Uh, if you didn't already, uh, do hit subscribe. I you'll know more than all that I know now, if we are already at a thousand or approaching a thousand. Uh, but I think that'd be pretty fun. And maybe the next one we'll be able to live stream. Although granted how YouTube has been probably will be a couple of weeks after that, but yeah, at some point we'll be able to live stream these things. Uh, if you have anything that you would like to ask us, uh, we've, we've had some like sort of questions, uh, just through things that on the internet and comments on videos and stuff, but I would, I would love, love, love to, uh, address some of those questions. If you have any of those, please email us at build horizons.com. You can also go to build horizons.com to follow or find any of the things on any of the platforms. Uh, and yeah, I just check us out, send us a line if you have anything. And with that, Katy is here yet again to finish us off. Thank you for building with us and we are cheering for you. There you go.